


looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid

by stillstanding



Series: A Grief Which Ebbs and Flows [1]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Dex is learning how to be there for Nursey, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, M/M, They love each other so much, Working Through Grief, minor character death in the past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 01:48:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30031194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stillstanding/pseuds/stillstanding
Summary: From here, the stove light fills the kitchen with a dim orange glow, the light catches on Dex’s hair and makes it glow and Nursey can see every single freckle on Dex’s face and can see the love and concern that seems to radiate off him. Sitting here in their apartment, in Dex’s arms, Nursey feels so loved, feels so safe. And something in him unravels and Nursey feels like he can finally breathe.
Relationships: Derek "Nursey" Nurse/William "Dex" Poindexter
Series: A Grief Which Ebbs and Flows [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2210538
Comments: 6
Kudos: 22





	looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid

Dex turns in his sleep reaching to sling his arm across Nursey’s waist and pull him closer, but when he reaches there he finds that Nursey’s side of the bed is empty and devoid of warmth. Dex rubs his eyes and reaches for his glasses so that he can see the time on the clock, he notices that it's just past 1:30 am.  
He stumbles out of their bed and sets off to find Nursey. He checks the bathroom and finds it empty and moves toward the kitchen. He finds Nursey sitting in on top of the kitchen counter cradling a steaming cup of tea. He walks to stand between Nursey’s legs and give him a soft kiss on his forehead before moving to rest his head on Nursey’s shoulder. Nursey wraps his hands around him still holding the cup of tea and they just stand there for what feels like forever. 

“You wanna talk about it?” Dex says softly, he taps Nursey spine three times a small and silent reassurance of that fact that Dex is here and that he loves him.

“I’ve got your back either way, baby” Dex tacks on. 

Nursey pulls his head back and moves so that he can see his whole face and moves so that their foreheads are touching. From here, the stove light fills the kitchen with a dim orange glow, the light catches on Dex’s hair and makes it glow and Nursey can see every single freckle on Dex’s face and can see the love and concern that seems to radiate off him. Sitting here in their apartment, in Dex’s arms, Nursey feels so loved, feels so safe. And something in him unravels and Nursey feels like he can finally breathe. He feels big gulps of air fills his lungs and begins to shudder in Dex’s arm and he feels tears streak down his cheeks. Dex holds him through it all rubbing his back and whispering sweet nothings in his ear, until he stops shuddering. Nursey stays in Dex’s arm before pulling back and wiping his tears.  
They sit in silence for a while, the hum of the refrigerator filling the room. Nursey takes another sip of his now lukewarm mint tea, trying to focus on the way the tea feels on his tongue and letting it ground him. 

“Nightmare” Nursey offers softly his voice rough and hands trembling from the effort. 

“Same as last time?” Dex asks softly, cocking his head to the side.

Nursey nods his head not trusting his voice. He can’t get the picture out of his head. He knows that it’s been weeks since his sister passed away and he still can’t get the image of his sister flying through the windshield of her car out of his head, can’t get the image of the drunk driver ramming into her car. It’s been 7 weeks since Nursey stopped being a brother, actually Nursey’s not even sure if he stopped being a brother. Do you stop being a brother when your sister is dead? It’s been 7 weeks and Nursey has had a perpetual ache in his gut that he’s scared is never gonna go away, and even more scared that at some point it will go away. Nursey felt like the world stopped moving the moment that he got the call and he’s not sure how to get it to move again.  
Dex just holds him, aptly aware of the fact that nothing he could say could make it all better. Dex pulls away from Nursey and asks him if he’s eaten anything recently. Nursey pauses and tries to remember when he last ate and can’t seem to come up with an answer so he just shrugs. Dex shakes his head fondly and begins to work on making french toast, Nursey’s favorite.  
He pulls the griddle from the cabinets and sets it on the stove, and begins to grab the ingredients from the fridge. While the French toast begins to cook Dex plays music from his phone. Nursey recognizes the song, Lua by bright eyes, one of his favorites and feels a surge of affection rush up for the man that is standing right beside him, who’s always stood right beside him. He closes his eyes and let the music wash over him, remembering the moments that he would listen to this song with his sister. He felt a wave of melancholy, love, and grief wash over him all at the same time and he still didn’t know how to balance. For the moment he just decided to focus on the fact that this was his sister’s favorite song, that he still had this piece of her.  
By the time he opened his eyes Dex had finished making the French toast and was putting it on plates for both of them. Dex joined him on the counter and they began to eat. Nursey managed a couple of bites before he had to stop, it felt like his grief made a home in his stomach and he could barely bear to eat these days. He began to play with his food, pushing it around his plate.  
Dex watched him carefully and put his plate down and turned to change the song on his playlist. Nursey heard the opening notes of I’m still standing by Elton John begin to play as Dex slid off the counter and held out a hand to Nursey. He let Dex pull him off the counter and watched him as he began to dance to the song while mouthing the lyrics. His limbs flailing at awkward angles and Nursey couldn’t help but find it hopelessly endearing. Dex grabbed his arms and started to shake Nursey’s arms and pull Nursey into his terrible approximation of a dance. Nursey felt a small smile overcome his face. Dex pushed away from Nursey to perform his guitar solo and Nursey let out a chuckle at that. Nursey’s heart stuttered when he heard Dex sing the lyrics “I’m still standing better than I ever did, looking like a true survivor, looking like a little kid.”  
Nursey knew that things would get better and that they would get worse. And he knew that even though this was hard and his life would never be the same he wasn’t going through any of it alone. Nursey knew that he would learn how to let his grief exist with love that he felt for his sister. Slowly but surely Nursey was going to learn how to put himself back together, how to survive this.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed <3\. If you want you can come say hi to me on tumblr: @willdexington


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